K-wow

Some mornings when we’re on our walk I imagine Pepper and me deep in conversation about stuff. A dog’s eye view of stuff and my view. What was on tv last night. What that woman on the corner has put out for trash. What the weather forecast is. This was one such chat we had this morning.

`So what’s like then? You know, a job? What’s it like?’

‘Well, it fills up your day and you go to it and they pay you money.’

`And what do you do at this job? Do you chase things?’

`My tail sometimes.’

`Here,are you trying to be funny?’

`No I was being like well I was trying to use it as a metaphor because I don’t actually have a tail.’

`So you chase your arse then?’

`It was a common figure of speech for going round in circles’

`What’s circles?’

`Really?’

`Nah I know what circles are. I know geometry.’

`Dogs don’t know geometry’

`What’s a dog?’

That’s what us humans call you dogs. We call you dogs. Or dawgs!  You aint nothin’ but a hound dawg.’

`We don’t call you humans.’

`No.? What do you call us then? Woof I guess.’ Pretty much every thing is  a woof to you.’

`Smeg. That’s what we call you. Smeg.  And we are K-wow from the royal house of

Wolfen. Ok Smeg, would you be good enough to pick my feces up now, there’s a good chap.